Another day another problem, day after day they all adds up, Another month another luck, month after month luck changes, Oh what an unconstant world, what a wonder...
Thursday, February 27, 2003
Wednesday, February 26, 2003
I don't know what to say... But why must my dad be so keen on me, now he would not even let me play my flute, would not let me practice nor compose music. Two years ago he would not let me study Chinese, and now I regret so much, that I, as a chinese born person is unable to write most of the chinese characters. Many years ago he would not let me study Gong Fu, would not let me read Commic books, would not let me invide friends home, etc... Why must he be so stricked on my interests, he is such a fascist. It is my life that I am to live, it is not his life, and I am already 19. Oh God, how I wish you could help me out.
Tuesday, February 25, 2003
Monday, February 24, 2003
The best night ever, was with my best university buddies, on my Birthday. It was so great that I can't use words to discribe it... All I can say is thank you guys. I only regret not able to catch Sergio's call. Or else the night could be even more fun. One cool thing is Dina has her birthday one day after mine, and Her birthday is the same day as Crystal's birthday on ID cards. Since Crystal's birthday was delaid one month on her ID card, her real birthday was the exact same day and year as Joe. And all three of them are present last night. Of course I was there too :) Anyways, thanks again for making my first and only birthday party the most remoriable. And making me drink beer. :P
Saturday, February 22, 2003
Bui's birthday was yesterday. Seven of us went to a buffay ( spell ) and then went and bowled. It was a lot of fun. Discovered that I'm pretty good at bowling. No girls were present though, that was a bummer. Still, hanging out with the guys is just as fun as the old days. Woke up today at 10:30am, went to Judo. Realized how much my Ippon Seoi Nage sucks when done at full speed. Then realize again how my Seoi Otoshi is completly unusable. More practice needed.
Whoosh !!! Just got back from animation club, man its so late, such a lonely night, but at least I enjoyed the night by my self after the shows. The weather is very beautiful tonight, stars all shinny and bright, the air was so clean and fresh, and there aren't much noise neither. As I walked through the nice places in UofT and around the park near my house, singing my newly self composed songs, I feel my mind so refreshed, from all the trouble some thoughts and depressing feelings. Many times I wanted to call up a friend to join me, but I thought against it, because what I enjoy dosen't mean another will enjoy. Anyways, it was a meaningful night all to my self, while I laid on the bench in the silent little park.
Friday, February 21, 2003
Thursday, February 20, 2003
hi guys, another sunny day today! i just woke up, which is a little bit too late, 1:30pm. long time no see, how is david, dex and lovely jane^^ doing? i basically lived a playfull life these few days, nothing related to study what so ever. don't know if my dear friends are doing any study at all these days? i suddenly feel so guilty of my activities of these days, there is for sure fun and entertaining events happened , also there are things that i regret doing. such as wasting time on internet too much...:( i reckon that it's really easy for one to be lazy, but it's not easy for one to be active and efficient, it's just so easy to lay back. i guess that's the nature of human being.~ oh, well, there are good times, such as paintball, pink paint everywhere in the field, then my own helmet got shot, therefore pink paint coverd my eyes...what a spectacular pink world~! i feel kind of dizzy afterwards and " i'm out" followed. once u got shot, u have to leave the field..it's a brutal game indeed..hehe, but it's so addictive, i encourage everybody try it... the increasing of heart beat, the sense of danger, the excitement of "killing" an enemy, the hide and run in the dark...i definitely want to go again! it's time for cool down and study now, i've learnd and growed and experienced, so there is nothing to regret about, right?
Wednesday, February 19, 2003
Tuesday, February 18, 2003
Despite of all the sad moments, bad luck, and lonely times, I am happy from this moment and on, because I am finely able to grasp the true meaning of life... life is not to be a good guy or bad guy, life is not simple nor complicated life does not depend on what others think life does not flourish under doughts and cowardice life is : how one choose to live their life to the FULLEST... with enjoyments after understanding consequences, with a road that is not chosen by others but by one self, never stay in the past never regret nor fear. and on the side with the help of luck and friends. I am not just saying this because I ran out of peoms, But I really understood it this time. HAHAHA
I'm still very excited about yesterday's experience. MY FIRST TIME SKIING!~!~ it was absolutely cool and fun, i'd say. I haven't been that happy for a long time. Stefan was there with me for more than half of the day; he taught me all the basic skills and saw all my ugly falls. it's him who took me to the first blue square skiing trail. I was about to cry when i saw the steeeep hill...but i kept telling myself: you can do it! then i did it. I learned super fast, hehe, by the time he left me to double black diamonds, i was able to ski alone and not fall badly. mm there were 2 lonely rides, but after that i found ppl from my rez and we had more fun time together. Stefan showed up by the end of the day and we skiied together 2 more times. Ahh i so miss the time we were lifted up together...tranquil hill, pure snow, and I leaned on his shoulder listening to the blowing wind... It's funny to watch ppl falling over and over again below us though...:P I still remember the tears coming out when i successfully made my first blue square without any falling. It was dangerously fun, you know, when you had no backup and had to go forward. it's cool experience too, i learned how to be strong both physically and spiritually. Skiing is a very good and healthy workout, I definitely love it, especially when I could control myself and enjoy the speed...My friends were great, thanks to them all... BTW, i missed Dex's call when I was up on Blue Mountain. Sorry i didn't call back (long distance..T.T) . I didn't know that song..sorry...try to go to some forum see if other ppl know it :)
Monday, February 17, 2003
I seem to mature slower than most people. No, make that I DO mature slower than most people. I'm turning 20 this year, but I've never shaved yet. I never needed to anyways. There was always less hair on my face than a girl's forarm ( bad analogy?? I think so ). Well, I still don't have all that much facial hair even now. But today I woke up, and feeling that maybe I should start to shave now. I mean most guys start shaving at around 15 or 16. Should I? Should I not? I am afraid that by shaving, I'll look even younger as I already do, hm.....
I hate this stupid big temperature change. It is murderous, it didn�t kill me, but it killed my flute. Today after practice, as soon as I put it on the cold table, I heard the cracking, it was so sudden, and there goes my flute, I can see clearly the lines that goes right through my flute. Stupid weather, why my flute? 555...
I forgot about the milk I brought home yesterday. So it just sat on the floor inside the bag I brought it with for the whole night. I discovered it this morning, and immediately put it in the fridge. ( one thing I learnt from living alone --- any food is better than no food ). Well, tried it now, it's still perfectly good. This simply proves how frigid my room is, and I'm wearing t-shirts right now too.
Saturday, February 15, 2003
I'm thinking about starting an online comic. I wanna do one that's in the format of Japanese manga. Like Megatokyo's if you will. The problem is how will I host it? UT's webspace doesn't even support CGI, let alone PHP. It simply means there's gonna be a lot of work organizing it I guess. I'm worried about the amount of webspace I have as well. Hm......
Friday, February 14, 2003
Thursday, February 13, 2003
hmm, no comment on what Dav wrote.... Anyways, remember what I said earlier in one of the post? That I hate holidays, because its always the loneliest time for me, every holiday I see people with people, couples together, lover with each other, etc, everyone but me have to spend the holiday by my self at home, even my parents are out doing something of their own. 55555... maybe I should just get back to playing some music, only my flute can understand this sad sad man. Hopefully one day this will be changed, but until then...
Whoever invented Valentine's Day should be dragged onto the street and shot. If guys are required to give flowers, then girls should be required to give chocolate like they do in Japan. I understand that was just a marketing ploy by companies to sell more chocolate in the 1960/70s, but that would be more fun now wouldn't it.
Wednesday, February 12, 2003
Stupid riddle, I mean stupid me, I admit I am bad at making riddles. My intented answer was MSN chatting, but many people tells me it has to be "moon". But if it was moon, I would say : I am back during the night, I am away during the day, I am not too bright, but enough to read. I am not a circle, and you will never see my face. Anyways, how the heck did all those abnormal ideas get into my head in the first place...? Maybe I should change back to using my real name...!
Tuesday, February 11, 2003
Here is a riddle for you people out there : (try to guess what it is.) ??? I am back during the night, I am away during the day, my words are my actions, and my emotion changes in circle, you will never be able to see my face, and you will never hear me cry. hint : it is not an animal. tell me the answer when you think you got it.
TI, The Precious Intelligence Silently she left me, reminds me how sudden she came... now I recall the first day when I met her, I was so frantic upon her dark shinny skin, I was so amazed by her infinite intelligence, wishing one day she would be mine. On an unexpected day came a surprise, it was so astonish as she offered herself, it was so fortunate that I brought her home. Ever since she was always by my side. I carried her to school, I carried her on trips, we went exploring the new world, we went to spread our existence. With each stroke, came a better understanding for us, with each day, came her sacrifice to enlighten mine, As time passes by, I learned from her priceless knowledge, I gained from her smartness and good grades, I remember how she always leave her kiss on my brand new pants, I remember how she always help many others understand the fun in learning. She was so wonderful, she was so selfness. Now I must say goodbye, For I am no longer the little boy, I thank her for all she did for me, I will forever and ever remember her, She, my programable calculator. By : Dexter � 2003 (The �KISS� is the white square mark I get on my pants for carrying the calculator around all the time, many people from my middle and high school knows why it was there, they used to often joke with me �I see you carrying your weapon again.�) ([][##][] Readers beware : this peom does NOT reflect how I feel about girls.) --- I am very uncomfortable with having to use a female to symbolise my calculator, but I guess I'll have to live with that. This poem is like the brother poem of my other work called "Highest Notation" which talked about my Bamboo Flute.
That's what I am trying to say,,, Dex : "Start posting Dav, don't leave all the work of posting to me." anyways, I already have two very private post of my own :P ----- Now, let's see if there's anything interesting? nothing much for the day, other than ran around doing work. Didn't practice music until 7:30pm. other than that are study and study, oh my god, I realize how little I studied before, now the good thing is I don't play games anymore, so I can really do some homework. I don't see how I was able to get pass everything before with out doing work. Doh ! - all because of my powerful calculator. I must write a poem about it. ^.^
This place is almost turning into Dex's blog. Well, since this is MY blog, I think I need to actually write something here. Um...yeah. A lot of things happened actually, but I feel no desire to write them down. This blog is a bit too public for them. Maybe I need to create another private blog exclusively for me? It'll be so secret that no one will know that it exists, mwhahahahaha~~ *reader: psst, you just told us -___-;;*
Monday, February 10, 2003
/** * This program only apply to the girl that I loved and the girl that loved me. * (or in the future) :P * @authur Dexter Lei * * sample run : new MyFeeling("your name", 1 or 0); * 1: happy * 0: sad */ public class MyFeeling{ private String me = ""; private String others = " you "; public MyFeeling( String name, int feeling){ if(feeling == 1){ setHappyness(name); } else { setSadness(name); } } public void setHappiness( String name ){ me= "Dear " + name + ":\n When" + others + "smiled at me with that playful smile," + "\n" + "my heart suddenly filled with love and happiness." + "\n" + "and I became the richest man in the world," + "\n" + "wishing the moment could last forever."; } public void setSadness( String name ){ me= "Dear " + name + ":\n When" + others + "are away, I missed" + others + "dearly," + "\n" + "wondering is you are still doing well" + "\n" + "and my lonely heart drank dry the river of sorrow," + "\n" + "longing for your company."; } public String toString(){ return me; } }
Some ppl were surprised when they saw my short hair today. well, i have to admit, I finally, easily, gave up my long hair style which i have kept for at least four years. To make the story short, I'll say things happened on Sunday, when i was home in Hamilton. I asked my dad to shorten my hair since it was too long and got annoying somehow. But...he ended up cutting too much (there were some hilarious elements here which i WON'T talk about). So, to make myself look a little better (ie. not ugly) I decided to cut my hair again, which, gave me a brand new hair style. hm...what do i say? you have to look at me to give any comment. from my point of view, I think i look younger, muahaha, and a bit "qing(1st tone) chun(2nd tone)". anyway, i didn't want short hair, but i had no choice. Ppl say cutting hair means cutting the "love strings"; it's somehow true for me, but...let's just call it a coincidence. oh well.
Sunday, February 9, 2003
I guess what they say about military intelligence is self paradox, not even the Patriot anti-air defence missile works, they claim �out of 42 missile attacks on Israel during the golf war, 41 defence patriot has successfully launched and intercept the target missile.� But the truth was later uncovered, those 41 successful intercept does not mean enemy missile destroyed, it means Patriot successfully exploded on the track on the enemy missile, but did not destroy the target. The reason was Patriots are too slow, comparing to the Iraq Scot missiles that never fly in a straight line, it can not be used to defend against the Iraqis. Even during later testing phase, there�s only 0% to 11% of chance that the defence missile actually did hit the �target�, and that target meant pieces of metal that came off the Scot missile. Which was the reason the computer system reported a success. Even the first success testing run that shocked the world was fake, in the night sky the first Patriot exploded on the right spot where the dummy missile would be, but... the truth was there aren�t any missile in the sky that night. Looks like there�s still more we can do to improve the air-defence system, that�s where comp-science comes in :) But I will not trust the newly designed Patriots to work perfectly, so if the war on Iraq starts, Americans better not count on the Patriot to work 90% like what they claim in the beginning.
Saturday, February 8, 2003
Embrace the Elements Fire - Let the energy burn within me, while I am still young, allow me to stay active without fatigue, and strike the precise target with lightning power. Water - Let the passion flow through me, while I can still think clearly, allow me to explore my existence, and swiftly reach the deepest corner in the universe. Earth - Let the solid ground support me, while I am still standing firmly, allow my confidence never be shaken, and calmly accomplish my life long mission. Light - Let the gratefulness guide me, while I can still see the truth, allow me to fully understand my surrounding, and take every holy step toward the pass of justice. Dark - Let the shadow always stay behind me, while I am still on the move, allow me to see all evil in the world, and summon the dark mirror that inhales my anger yet reflects the beauty. By : Dexter Lei , 2003 -- WOW, I like this new poem of mine.
Friday, February 7, 2003
Shoot, This is such a boring day, its not busy but its boring. Got home at 4:00pm, from practicing flute, nothing to do: Can't play games, because it can no longer satisfy my need for excitment, can't play sports, for my injury would not allow, can't go chat, because no one is online and no one fun to talk to is online, can't program stuff, because I feel dumb right now, can't surf the net, because there's nothing new to be found, can't make websites, because I already made so many, can't think about girls, because they are not interesting anymore, (I am not GAY) can't talk to any other friends, because they are all busy or sleepy, can't read, because can't walk to the library to get books, can't study, because I already studied for hours. Now what? Now I even finished posting on the blog. Doh !!!
Thursday, February 6, 2003
Every language that I can't immidiately identify sounds Japanese to me today. I think I'm going crazy. Went to buy a birthday cake for my brother, turned out buying Hero as well. Watched it, twice, loved every second of it. Awsome cinematography, great sword and spear fights. Amazing cast of over 10,000 actors. Puts Crouching Tiger to shame imo. Loved the sword play in ��կ�� (jiu zhai go), drooled at the thought of practicing kungfu there. Made me proud to be Sichuanese again. Calc assignment due today. Since I spent all my time watching the movie and this other Japanese comedy I bought, I didn't sleep and went to the library to work. Everything are done now, all is well.
Wednesday, February 5, 2003
The year 2002 has past, now I look back to see what I have accomplished, have became, and what god has done me... It was the year that taught me to no longer be a boy, through experiences like love and friendship, but most important of all would be my injury before Christmas, it has taught me to think before act (even though I am still trying to accomplish that), it also showed me there's much to life, and wasting time on games is the worst way of living this wonderful life, which made me realize how good my life was. I realize had many friends, few of which are my best buddies, and they are able to help me through rough times, give me happiness when there's down curve in my life, also since they are all older, they are able teach me ways of life, and importance of family. Of course I will in turn give them the help they needed. I realize I had good parents, I used to complain a lot about how little freedom there are living at home. True, it has is flaws, but on the overall if I move out, I will probably miss them so much, that I would wish I had spend more time with my parents, and those times are valuable. (I love you MaMa, BaBa) I realize I had a very talented body. I am able to do almost everything, but even though none the best, but at least I am able to apply myself to any situation, I am able to make child happy when they are bored, I am able fit in with anyone's personality, I am able to help with many problems in the world, I am capable to think into the deepest thought in the universe. On top of that I am even good with few of the things that I do. At last I realize girls should not be more than study at a time like this, but this is very hard to accomplish, so much struggle I need to go through in order to not think too much about them, and so much sacrifice of youth, and love. Ahhh. a new year, a new life, a new school, and some new friends, I must make every moment worthwhile..... (before I recover : more study, more poetry, more music, more websites, more reading, more programming, less games, and less chatting) (after I recover : even more study, more archery, more workout, more pingpong, more badminton, more swimming, and maybe less biking) meanwhile : Live a wonderful life with my friends and family. Also Good luck in the new year, to all of you reading this blog. --- and thanks to one of my best friend David for he's support for me when I am down.
Tuesday, February 4, 2003
Monday, February 3, 2003
Why? when the world was created, when I was born, there were many stars in the sky, there was a beautiful moon that night, ... (Little Dav in my head : get to the point ! ) ... Why? Why after my eyes were open? It was decided for me, who the people that I will meet? It was decided for me, the loney road that I will walk? From jumping up grades, To become a smarty, Then my mirror were shattered. ... (Little Dav in my head : get to the point !!! ) ... Why? Why after 18 years? First year in university, so many pretty and nice people, and yet so much work, why is it that everyone is older? why is it that they all see me as little brother? why does the age have to matter? why does it matter so much? does it matter? does it not? AND last, why can I not think about consiquance? (Dex : "Should I post this?") (Dex's Central Processing Unit [Brain] : why not, you are allowing others to get to know you) - is it not good? (Dex's MotherBoard [Heart] : Good Work CPU, plus it'll make you feel much better after posting it.) (Wise words from Dav : Think before you act.) (Dex's Evil Mind : "I can't think striaght anymore, the feeling is taking over.") then there comes a sad sad : Doh! ;(
Saturday, February 1, 2003
Just had some messed up days. Life is always full of happiness and tears...I'm not a Christian, but I give these words, to those who have been hurt and depressed by love. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails... (Corinthians 13:4-8)
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Electrified slowly I walked toward the road slowly more thoughts came to my mind each cell in my blood stream proceeded like the busy traffic every muscle can never again grip a hold the beautiful images formed quicker than a thunderstorm the happy days showered my existence clean of sadness there was no time for other thoughts there was no time for any plan every moment appears so precious like the morning dew on the tender lotus that could vanish at any moment under the sun like the dazzling snow flake in the palm that would melt right before the eyes every step forward became breathtaking like the moment before the final exam where all preparations were forgotten like getting closer to an angelic flower that is about to bloom right before the last moment it was being at the centre of a hurricane where everything became silent and empty but that was the same moment when my heart grew electrified. (By : Dex) Copyright (c) 2003 :P
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