Well, that was that. Finito, owatta , done. now I can catch up on my life! Model building, movie watching, kungfu practicing, the whole shabang. Life is good.

I can't believe it. My old "Mighty Site" is still online. It's even got my old email address! ( which I've abandoned a LONG time ago ). It's been years since I've even glanced upon it. I've lost my harddrive copy of it years ago. To think it's been sitting on a corner of the web collecting dust, I'm at a loss for words. Looking at it now, it's design is so immature and ugly. What was I thinking? Ah, the follies of youth.

Today marks the 100th year since the Wright brothers took flight for the first time. Yay for mankind. I have my last exam later today. 頑張りましょう！

Whoa, I can't believe how cryptic the csc236 textbook is. Comparing it with the lectures, it's hard to imagine they are talking about the same thing. I'm not touching the book anymore, it's only going to screw up what I already understood about the course. Yup, 236 exam tomorrow morning. At 9am no less, kill me now~~

I spend most of my time sitting on my ass all day. So to compensate, I decided to get back at "it" and do suburi ( kendo sword swings ) everyday before I sleep, just like how I used to do when I was living alone. My goal was 500 on the first night, but my hand didn't agreed with me very well. Blisters formed on my hands, so I had to stop at 260. It's only been a year, and I've already become so soft. Oh well, I just have to keep doing it until my hands get use to it again. Computer Science isn't good for the body. ( Reader:"Or games, or BBS surfing, or..." Me:"Ok, shut up already." )

土曜日と日曜日に全然勉強しませんでした、とても悪かった。 来週の金曜日から期末試験が始めますよ！まだ勉強しません！なにやってんだぼくは。 人がBBSに会いました。あいつも中国拳法がとても好きですから、ぼくに会いたい。 あいつの期末試験は来週の木曜日に終わります。いいですね… ああ、もう二時ですか。寝なければ、なりませんよ、お休みね。

Had a horrible week. I had everything stacked up on Friday. Both csc209 and sta247 assignments were due, and there was a csc236 quiz as well. I worked pretty much all nighter on Wednsday and Thursday. Absolutely exhausted. However, I got a notice from Millenium Scholarship that I'm getting $3000. Plus Macross Zero episode 3 finished downloading. I just finished watching it,. It was breathtaking. The mech battles were simply poetry in motion. Of course, my exams are starting on the 12th. Bring it on.

Statistic Analysis is unfathomably boring. Who likes to look at little dots on the monitor day in and day out anyways? It's like watching paint dry, except paint doesn't blast radiation in your face. Now, if you haven't read "THE BASIC LAWS OF HUMAN STUPIDITY", you should. It just may save your life.

This Unix programming assignment is driving me very close to the brink of insanity. I simply can't direct the programs to read stderr. What really gets me is that I'm probably simply missing some very tiny segments of code. Code that the prof talked about in lecture apperantly. God help me that I just happened to miss that single lecture, and there are no notes about it anywhere on the course website. Typical. This, coupled with the Japanese written assesment tomorrow, plus Stats assignment due on Monday and Computation Theory assignment on Tuesday. I say I have my work cut out for me this weekend. When I'm done that, I'll get to learn how to manage PHP system stacks, yay~ *fjfs8**#&$*

Saw Fran in NC library at work. Hi Fran. ... ... Maybe I should say hi to dav too. Hi Dav.

I'm having a love/hate relationship with my computer. I am undoubably spending much more time with it than before. I suspect ( actually, I'm very very sure ) it originated from the fact that I just upgraded it. Ok, so it's not all that fast, and it's still got really slow RAM ( PC133 when I'm seeing >400Mhz DDRs, goddamn technological advances ), it's still obsolete, just less so. Hence, I'm acting like a giggling schoolgirls these days, eager to test out its new abilities day in and day out. Not to mention of course that, I slaved over my work on it, a lot. Both factors combined, equals most of my waking moments. I hate it, I want my time back, I could be doing so many other things with it. Studying on the top of the list of course. ( well... ) But but, my computer is so much facter than before! Watch it startup Photoshop, so cool!!! *giggles like a little schoolgirl*

突然心血来潮，想写中文的blog。 这个星期过得特别的颓废。虽然星期二废寝忘食，在老板的虎视下工作了一整夜，别的时间全浪费在游戏上面。 明天又有midterm又有quiz, 可我却在这儿写blog。说是因为学习枯燥乏味所以休息吧，其实还不是一个懒字。 说到懒，我真的得把自行车的轮胎修好了。 以前一拖再拖，理由是应为没有适合的内胎。没想到Jane那家伙还真送我盒26圈内胎作生日礼物。 再不修好的话，就彻底毁灭我荡然无存的“新世纪优秀青年”形象了。 当然，如果内胎尺寸与我自行车框架不合的话，我又要偷笑了。

今週、とても忙しいです。 今日、朝６時まで働きました。とても疲れた。 ボスはわたしの仕事を昨日の晩に終わりたい。だから、頑張りました。 まだ金曜日にテストをあります。ぞれから、かのじょに会います。 はい、おもしろい日になります。

C is definitly much more satisfiying to code than Java. With Java, the code is a mess as the program gets larger. With C, it's still a mess, but at least it's my mess.

Thoughts on 天地英雄( Warriors of Heaven and Earth ) WHE ( The acronyme the article will use, since I'm a lazy bastard :P ) is the latest big budget Chinese movie to hit the Chinese cinema scene since Hero. Like Hero, it's a pseudo historical drama. The similarities between the two films end there. WHE describes the story of a band of retired soldiers in their voyage to protect a caravan across the Gobe desert and to reach the Tang dynasty capital of ChangAn. They later realized however, that the caravvan brings with it an extremely important religious artifact that can tip the balance of power in the outer west rim of China. Of course, a band of bad guys chase after them for the entire duration of the movie. I must confess I liked the movie, but I don't love it. The movie did everything by the book, but the story flow was very mundane, and there weren't many memorable moments. I guess my biggest peeve about the movie is the costumes, I'll go into details about that later. The characterization of the movie is rather 2 dimensional. All the standard characters are here: The good hearted and seasoned veteran, the comical relieve, the girl, the hatable antagonist. The cast are obviously able to breath much more life into the characters, too bad the script didn't allow them to. The dialoges are very natual, and at most places well written. I could really do without Zhao Wei's voice overs though, the situations of the characters should be felt, not told. The connections between the characters never grew strong enough for me to care much about their fate. There are many scenes hinting LaiXi and Lt.Li's bonding, too bad they are mostly trivial and short. Once the characters do start to connect, the movie was over. Zhao Wei's character didn't do much either. She hardly ever spoke, and it was hard to detect her emotional attachment to JiangWen's character to anything beyond a simple crush, as they hardly ever interacted. The historical inaccuracies in the movie was staggering. First, the costume. It's hard to put my finger on what period exactly the costumes are from. They are a mixture of Japanese and European design. They feature helmets and shoulder protectors not found in that historical period. Also, why does JiangWen have short hair? The costumes are made of cheap leather, and looked like they can't block anthing. Is this an attempt of the director to cut budget? With such amazingly historically accurate movies as Hero and The Emperor and Assasin, there's no excuse for Chinese directors to have such sloppy background research. It's inevitable to compare WHE with the Korean movie MUSHA, as a result of their similar locale and theme. Although MUSHA was released first, WHE started shooting before MUSHA. But upon comparison, MUSHA beats WHE in almost every category. The accuracy in costume of that period is amazing, MUSHA simply had the best looking Asian armor in all the movies I've seen. The characters were strongly depicted, especially the general, who grew from his inital arragance and selfishness to finally fighting along side his men as equals. The fighting was much more gritty than that of WHE, and many scenes captured my imagination. ( Rushing down the hill, fighting in the forest... ) Hm...it seems like WHE isn't really that good. I didn't even get a chance to talk about the suprising super-natural element yet ( which made no sense ). the ending was also very sudden, and left much to be desired. Oh, and the final castle siege felt very tacked-on, as if there have to be a castle-siege in this kind of movie or something. If the movie ended with the old guy, I would be happy, as that was the only impressive scene in the movie IMO. The production of the movie feels a little rushed, and the scenes were mostly hurried along. Well, I actually thought the movie is ok, despite what you might think after reading this article. I actually have many more bones to pick, but I should do some research before I make them :P

I managed to recover the data on the old back-up CD that I thought was lost. Which means I got all my digital camera originals back for the older pictures. Plus all the original files for my sketches. Whoohoo! What does that do for you dear reader? Aboslutely nothing.

Yup yup, 22nd was my birthday. So I'm officially 20 years old now. Although it doesn't mean a damn thing. As for my computer, seens that the processor have a static multiplier of 7. Hence requiring my Motherboard FSB to be 133MHz to achieve the advertised 933MHz clock speed. Well, that problem was that my RAM are of only pc-100, so my computer locks up on me on FSB settings higher than 120MHz. I went and bought 512MB pc-133 RAM by exchanging my old RAM. The processor is fine now, but new problem arose. My motherboard doesn't recognize high-density single sided RAM ( fuck ), so it thinks it have only 256MB. I'm gonna exchange them for double-sided ones tomorrow. Ugh, so much work. I should really just buy a new computer, if only I'm not so broke... On the other hand, everything are running beautifully fast on my computer now. Things are popping up faster than a nest full of rabbits. I can actually play the likes of Halo and Homeworld 2 and Medal of Honor and Bridge Commander and....... So good!

Oh yeah, since I am here I might as well put down, Happy Birthday David (for four days ago) :p

Oh god this few days went by so fast, is already Saturday, and I felt as if I slept through the entire time. With so much work laid up, I think I am gonna have to work super hard now. Two of the toughest includes the learning of two new programing language in three days, and that dose not even including all the other assignments and projects. Later on tonight, I have to go work again for the mid-night shift, because I switched it from the day shift. Due to the fact that a friend ask me to goto a BBQ, but ending up cancelling it, hence I switched the shift for nothing. Now dispite of the fact that I am getting sick, I think I am gonna be even worse after this night. Worst come to the worst, I'll just goto hell. *cough* *cough*

Poor David, but perhaps you are getting something good out of this accident, lol.

My computer's power supply exploded in my face I was cleaning the dust off of it. I guess I must've cause some static discharge while I cleaned the ventilators. It must've been trapped inside some dust bunnies that I unintentially stuffed inside the power supply as I whiped it with a tissue ( I'm never wiping the inside of my computer with a dry tissue again, helllllo rubbing alcohol! ). After I plugged it back in, the fan came on momentarily and everything looked fine. Next thing I know, there was a loud BANG! A few chucks of stuff flew out of the power supply, leaving a puff of bluish cloud circling above the computer. If the computer isn't mine, this would've been hilarious. I bought a new power supply and installed it today, everything works fine. I decided that if I'm gonna go through with such operation, I might as well upgrade my processor. I went and bought a PIII-933Mhz today, but my cranky old motherboard is fighting it, only recongnizing it as a 700Mhz. I'm heading home to continue wrestle with it right now ( I'm in UT typing this up ). Fight the good fight I shall.

Stats midterm tomorrow, and I really should be studying right now. Well, I am studying, technically... Went to Liwenjun's Thanksgiving dinner yesterday. Met her roommates & boyfriend. Took some pictures, and I looked like a dumbass as usual. Maybe I'll put them up, AFTER my midterm of course. 勉強する勉強する…

また日本語のブログです： コンピューターの宿題は金曜日にべき終わります。 でも、まだ始めません� ああ、どこから始めますの事をわかりません。 この宿題は終わってられないば、あしたの柔道授業へ行きますか� だめ、もう話せられない。 宿題はべき始めます。 はい、頑張ります。

I needed two references for this scholarship I'm applying for. Mike and Ben agreed to be my references, so I went and have them sign the reference form today. I never knew Ben is a professor. His background is apperantly Microbiology and is currently researching something to do with Dentistry. I always thought Mike is doing his Master's degree, little did I know he's actually doing his Ph.D. I'm constantly amazed at the people I meet in Judo. Maybe, just maybe, that years later, I will become as sucessful as they have. I will go to Judo, and tell the clueless undergrads with their big watery eyes: "Don't worry, I was once just like you". Hahaha, keep dreaming the good dream I suppose. In other news, Do as Infinity's new album "Honjitsu wa Seiten Nari" is out. I actually like the other song "10W40" better than "Honjitsu wa Seiten Nari".

Sigh... what can you say about life. It's just too fansy and hard. But we live on, because there must be someone waiting for us on the 'other side'. Or is it the other side ? Anyways, my mind is in a total mess right now... :'(

Nothing like good ol'relationship problem to wack someone in the ass and ruin their week, namely me of course. Who am I to bitch about my life? My Japanese class is awsome, Judo is most excellent as always, and I finally tied up all the loose ends from first year. This week though, while I'm not busy with the distractions in my life, I would find my mind wonder away from me, and my spirite at all time low since the begining of the year. Maybe I'm simply in sync with the season. The warm summer breeze gave away to cold autumn gusts, sending chills so deep into my body that I can feel it in my heart. It tries to strip the leaves of their colours, leaving behind only their reddish husks. So far, the trees have stood stubbornly to the wind, and only a few have gave in. Percy Bysshe Shelley said "If winter comes, can Spring be far behind?" Autumn have just made its quiet entrance, and spring? Spring is far behind.

I'm sick feels horrible. I don't think I'll go to Bajiquan today....

Discovered StarCraft being installed on the CDF labs. With the record of me being a huge StarCraft freak in my less enlightened years, this can't be a good thing. With the fact that I managed to miss this morning's lecture cause I slept in, it just maybe that my whole plan of being a shiny model student this year will be flushed straight down the toilet. Along with the whole "wake up early" thing. ( Well, that never really took off the ground in the first place...) Gotta watch out for that.

School started for about a week now, just in time to save me from the horrible fate of being bored to death. The first things people asked me when school just started were such orthordox phrases such as "How was your summer?", " Did you have a nice summer?", "What did you do during the summer", "I couldn't care less about what you did last summer" and so on, as if I can summarize two months of my life into a short phrase that's no longer than 2 minutes, so that neither of us will be delayed to get to those free pens given out by cute girls in Frosh Week. So the conversation usually goes: "Oh you know, I didn't have much of a summer, since I took some summer courses" "That sucks dude" "No kidding, but the last 2 weeks started to feel like summer though, since I was bored out of my mind" " That's sweet dude...you know what, I gotta go, those pens are so shiny...I mean I gotta go to class" "Class? Doesn't it start next week?" "Dude, I'm in Engineering..."

Now here is something interesting that I read over the internet : "The darkest realms exists in the brightest minds." In my point of view, it is quite true in my world, not saying that I am smart nor am I saying that I am evil, just that it seems as if most smart people uses their brain on the crocked stuff. Perhaps that's just from the movies of nowadays, where the smart mad scientists versus the stupid lucky good guy... I hope that is not the general case. Anyways, I'll keep on wondring about this sentence during my dream tonight.

Today's the aftermath of the huge power failure yesterday afternoon. The power failure overed the state of New York in the States, and the entire of Ontario. I was in a subway station, waiting for friends when it happened. The light flickered, and all the lights, except for a few went black. Good thing no body I know got trapped in the subway. We walked around the city, and finding everything closed. When it got dark, it got really dark. No street lights, or any light from buildings. I rushed home to help out in the store, in case of any possible trouble. Darkness and breakdown of basic condiitons do things to people. Luckily, Torontonians were very well behaved last night. I actually had a good time guiding customers by flashlights. The sky under the city was suddenly free of light pollution, and the stars shined through magneficently, just like how they were at camp. I actually got up very early in the morning, at 6:30 am in fact. God, I can't remember when was the last time I got up before 10:00am. I went to practice in the park across from my home, for the first time in years. It felt very good, I think I just might continue to do this whole "get up early" thing. They say there's gonna be rolling power outs as they adjust the power grid for the next few hours/days. Hence I have no idea when my computer will floap on me. Maybe even NOW!! .................................no? alright, good.

God knows why I shell out almost 20 dollars each month buying Newtype magazine. Each month, it's the same routine. I would walk down to Chinatown, first visit Kikiwai, and ask if the volumns of "Rough" that I ordered arrived from Japan yet. Nope? Ok then. I would then walk to ChenXiaoJi book store, and ask them if new volumns of "Katsu" arrived from HongKong yet. Nope? Ok then. Finally, after the disappointments, I would walk up north again. Go to AnimeXtreme, and pick up a new issue of Newtype. I don't know why I read it, it has little useful information about anything, it seems to be just a big advertisement catalogue, like those Eatons or Sears used to make. Except you can't place order on most of the items listed in it, and they are always madly expensive. I think I'm buying the magazine simply for Johnathan Clement's The FarWest column. It's simply hilarious, poking fun at the North American anime sub-culture. It's great to indulge in self irony. I don't think I can call myself a "collector" of anime magazines or what not, if I am, I would go hardcore and buy the Japanese Newtypes. But that serves no real purpose, I have enough trouble as it is reading sushi vinegar labels. Ok, my monthly trips does pay off of course. I got 7 volumns of Katsu already, and um, 1 volumn of Rough. The owner of Kikiwai claims that my order will arrive on aug 20th ( maybe ). I sure hope so, I've been hoping since January.

It's becoming painfully obvious that I won't get the chance to study XingYi in the near future. There is only one sifu who teach the style in Toronto, and he doesn't offer any public courses for it. Unfortunately for me, private lessons cost $60/hr, which is way more than what I can afford. It makes my heart ache watching such opportunity slipping away, like being refused after confessing love to a girl. Well, at least there's always Bajiquan. It's time that I settle down and devote my time mostly to only one style of martial art. From the look of it, Baji is gonna be it.

Hi ya again :D ... ... ... CYA

Jane's boyfriend Alex got mugged today. In broad day light too! Apperantly, these two black guys came at him with a knife. He kicked one of them in the groin and was able to get away. He was of course pissed. The guy does taekwondo, and is at leat 6 feet 2 or something. This made me think, if something like this can happen to a guy like this, the it may happen to me too. What would I do in his shoes? Would I fare better? worse? Would my martial arts training be worth a damn? About a week ago, some jackass ran off with a pack of cigarettes without paying from our store. My mom was watching the store at the time, and she called me. By the time I hurried down to the store, the guy's gone for about a minute. So she told me his description: Tall, big white guy with his inner shirt hanging out of an outer layer of a bright orange shirt. I ran towards the direction the guy headed off to search for him. After about a block, I spotted him strolling along, relaxing on the sidewalk. I ran after him, made my most serious and determined face, and yelled: "Hey Buddy! You the guy who took the cigarette from my store?" I squared into a relaxed natural stance, fully prepared to "do my stuff' if you will. The guy isn't only big, he's huge. He towers above me by about one and half head, I can see squarely into his chest. He's big too, with a pretty big beer belly, and is about 30, 35ish. He looks back at me, hesitated a little. Perhaps to ponder whether it's worth it to crush me, and all forms of attacks and defences against a person his size was racing in my head. Then, he slowly pulled out that pack of cigarette out of his pocket and handed it to me. Still unopened! Shit, now I have no excuse to beat him up. I snapped the cigarette from his hands, and barked back:" Don't do this again, get it?!" and turned around and walked away. The morality of the story? Sometimes, when no real loss occured, it's not worth it to fight someone twice your size both ways ( height and width ). Maybe one day I'll really get to kick some ass, until then I guess I just gotta keep on practicing. Or you can always call me chicken in front of some cute girls, then I'll really get the chance to kick some ass for fun and profit. Granted of course, you're not twice my size, both ways.

hi ,it's crystal ya!~haven't been here so long, have a nice summer and all!~~always urs~~^___^

hahahaha..haven't posted anything for ages!!! yeah...life is so simple and busy...oh well, good luck you comp nerd and kungfu freak :D All the best...me shan le ;)

Not posting as often as I'd like, well obviously... Kinda busy these days. I actually found a *gasp* job, so there are less time for everything else now. My life now consist of simply learning everything from PHP, PERL, MySQL to Xaraya and Java ( yeah, Java is actually my school work ). Well that and practicing Judo and Kungfu as always. I'm starting to practice Taiji regularly again. In the words of Jane: I'm basically just this big computer nerd who happens to be a kungfu freak. ( ok, not her words per se, but that pretty much covers what she said ) yeah....

Good to see you are posting stuff on your site, but post more :p

Wow, Linux is absolutely elegant the way it processes everything. Granted, it took me almost 3 hours to install something as supposedly simple as a tablet driver, it's elegant nevertheless.

It took me a whole day, but I finally got Linux and Winxp both installed and behaiving nicely towards each other on my computer. It was a whole day of sweat and tears, mostly tears. Oh, and hair pulling, can't forget about that. You see, I had to install them twice, since Windows took a mighty wallop and refused to recongnize Linux as a legite operating system. Hence I couldn't do dual-boot without try to download fancy software. In my frustration, I tried again. This time, installing Winxp first, and all is well. Yeah, internet works, now I gotta go reinstall everything. The computer thinks my important data and works backup cd is an audio cd with over 300 tracks. So I've lost basically all my work in the past year. Good thing I uploaded some of it here -- my webspace, else I really would've broke down and cried. We now turn back to our regular scheduled programming of hearing me whine about how much my periodic injury-turned-canker hurts: Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, OW this f***king hurts, ow ow ow ow...

Jennifer's birthday today Bui and I went and got her a present yesterday. We were gonna buy it with Gopy as well, supposedly. However Gopy decided to not show up, and yet never bothering calling us about it. Thinking we are gonna split the price three ways, Bui and I bought this present for $50. ( It's mad expensive, I know. We are feeling our hearts bleeding today ) Gopy then decided that he didn't want to share the price anymore, cause it was too expensive for him, all without calling us prior of course. But me and Bui bought it already, and had to split the money two ways. Thanks a lot! Gopy. Ok, we got her a candle with a stand. Not just any candle of course, a $20 dollar candle gotta be worth it, right. It's one of those really cool block shaped translucent with red leaves embedded inside scented candle. We got her this stand that's incredibly simple in construction. So simple that there's absolutely no fucking way it's worth $20 bucks. Imagine a block of translucent scented candle sitting ontop of a black stand. The stand would be made of two pieces, one square platform supported by a cone at the bottom. The texture formed by the leaves is like some reminiscent of Chinese/Japense watercolour. The whole thing is actually very elegant. All in all, a completely useless, but visually impressive little object which cost a hineous amount. Ever wonder how useless objects often cost the most? Apperantly Jenn only got two presents today, out of what, 18 people who showed up.

Hm... David's tag board is quite interesting... too bad not many people is talking. *sigh* which makes it seems as if I am talking to my self and the "try to be myself" ... But at least it got stuff going on there, hehe. Anyways, post some new stuff Dav... Don't be too lazy ;) hehe

Summer school started. Actually, lots of things was going on before this, but I was just too lazy to write them up. I went to a farm trip with the CUA group for instance, expect to see some photos from that soon. I'm totally zapped of energy these days. Regarding the my impersonator on the tagboard. I'm sure most of you have already realized that it wasn't me...hopefully. I must say he/she is becoming a real pest. I don't mind if you keep on your immature homophobic shouts out of desperation for more attention. But please try to refraine from personal attacks on other people on the board. It's sad enough already that you must satisfy your own lack of self-confidence by pretending to be others on an obscure little web-hole such as my site, and what's worse is that by pretending to be someone who you know nothing about. ( and if you do know me, please stand out and take it up with me face to face in REAL life, you pussy ) You know what they say, imitation is the highest form of flattery. I'm not going to delete any further tag messages posted by you. Simply because I want all the visitors of this site to see for themselves how truely pathetic you are. I'll take this chance to ask for some *cough* generous donations so I can upgrade to tagBoard Pro. So that I can find this guy/girl's IP, and do something realll interesting to him/her.

Ugh, been up doing taxes until now Ugh

Sweet mother of pearl! I'm done! Finito! Owatta! Had my last exam (calc) today, and I must say I did pretty good. School's over!! Wheeeeeeee~~~

I just realized how utterly awful Kungfu: The Legend Continues is, isn't it great? Animatrix is absolutely amazing, Saiyuki is not. new anime(s) I think I'm starting to like Samurai Deeper Kyo, the name is awful ( did they mean Samurai Keeper or something?) , but the first episode is intriguing so far Full Metal Panic!, Ok, so it's not "new" per se, Ai Yori Aoshi, yeah, the girl is cute Still dying to see Patlabor III. Blue Submarine No.6 is looking good and um yeah, I'm studying hard for my exam......as usual......*cough*

Testing... Ah boring... Doh! <- Ops. forgot to delete it. (Can you delete this Dav ?) :p since you won't allow me to delete stuff, I don't know if you think this is undeletable or not. :(

Got my first exam on Monday. I'm putting everything on hiatus to study. I need good marks on the exams...

ah... you are finely open to the truth... I am happy that you can see the truth and that you can bravely face it. ^.^ Thats my bro. hehe - sign : Seeker of The Truth -

I can't find much to whine about my life. ( So I'm gonna whine about MY opinion of the world. If you actually give a fuck about what I think, read on ) Guess that's why I havn't posted much. It's not that it's getting any better, I think I'm just used to its constant dismal state. With all this War and SARS crap going on, I find lingering onto the little pathetic problems in my life to be selfish as hell. Well, it's not like I can do ANYTHING about these problems. Really, studying Sociology simply makes one have a more cynical view of our society in general. It's true, cause either you learn to ignore and say *meah* to every horrible things that are going on in the world, or you will find no security or confidence in our society, in yesterday, today, or in the future. Sometimes I think it's better to go into some mountain, live alone as a monk or daoist guy, and just practice kungfu and meditate all day just to get away from it all. Hm...more political and current event rants. I dont' know what to think of the whole SARS thing anymore. The official statistic is that the disease have a kill rate of around 4 ( or is it 6 )%. The common flu have a kill rate of 10%, so this is simply a new and less harmful cousin of flu. The media is hyping it too much simply because it's "new". Then it must be "deadly" as well, they presumed. So it's not all that bad. Well, that's my old thinking. Apperantly though, the situation in China worsened, and I'm sure a lot more people died. The official statistic isn't so reliable anymore. There's also all these hoorahs about how SARS is an American conspiracy against the China, or some kind of biological weapon Japan developed and abandoned in WW2 and was buried in the ground, but the container leaked or something. There's something about it comes eating ducks raw too. Oh, not to mention the worsened public opinion of the Chinese in North America. Well, it's always a lot easier to blame some natural problem on someone than to focus on the fact that people are dying, stop trying to pass around the blame and try to focus on how to eliminate/prevent it! ( Although I do admit the American conspiracy thing is very plausable. ) The Iraqi war? Um well, Saddam didn't put up much of a fight. Rumors has it that he was dissapointed in the Arab world of not supporting him, hence he simply gave up. Well, now Syria is in trouble, Iran can't be far away. America probably wants to make the Arab nation its puppet in order to control the oil supply. The consumption of America's oil, can then, be streched until our grandchildren's children's time before it ends. If something like this indeed happen, I forsee the development of alternative fuel sources in countries like China, in which America won't be very kind in supplying oils to them. We actually have funtional alternative fuel solutions such as hydrogen fuel-cell. Electric power arn't nearly matured enough for industrial use imo. The problem is the currently established world elites won't allow such technology to mature to the point that they become main stream. OPEC won't allow it, and the business men in America won't allow it at least. ( Bush's family own a big oil company in Texas ) Hence the reason hydrogen fuel cell and electric havn't took off yet isn't because of technological limit. Hell, eletric cars were invented around the same time as internal combustion ones. Imagine if history were altered, we'd all be driving around electric cars that are probably just as powerful as the ones today. So yeah, our society are all about a bunch of rich goons sittng around a big table and trying to protect their own interest. That's capitalism for ya baby! Er, I'm tired of typing, pfft yeah, leave it to a first year Sociology guy like me to comment on the current world.

Ah... haven't been here for a while. Doh !!! so much work, and its such a good and boring day.

Our store got robbed today. I wasn't there though, I came home about five minutes after it had happened. Saw my father speaking to the police while out of breath, and things scattering all over the counter. Bunch of cops came and took statements from dad. He was excited that he kicked the robber square in the ass, and then proceeded to throw an empty bottle at him which landed squarely on his shoulder. Nothing was robbed, my dad took it all back. Hope they catch the bastard. I missed the action, as usual. It seems I'm never around for such things, maybe it's a good thing. In other news, I went to Western for Khai and Sida's kungfu club practice there. They started the club and are teaching there. I just couldn't standing missing all the fun. I missed it today though, cause some jackass pulled a gun on some guy in the school, and the whole place was cleared out early. Went and practed a bit with Khai in UT. Interesting day indeed.

Well, I moved back to living with my parents again. I really hate saying the sentence loud, cause it always sound so pathetic. In any case, it's a good decision. For one thing, I don't have to worry about rent. I will still sleep in my old place for tonight. My rent last until tomorrow night officially. When I moved all my stuff out of the room and was preparing to leave, I glanced back, and a sudden sadness swelled up inside. Sure, the room was tiny and falling apart. But it was my shelter during which when I was most confused when I moved into a new stage in my life. Here is where I could bring a day's weary and confusion, and leave them behind in the morning. As I'm walking away, I can feel something new inside of me. I have taken a part of this room with me. Here I have grew and from here I have matured. Leaving here is like saying goodbye to an old friend and teacher. I'll never forget this place, and I'll always be thankful of the experiences here. I have a feeling some other kid who just graduated from highschool and is excited of university life will live here. The room will always teach the life's lesson to the lucky ones that inhabit in it. Farewell room, and thank you....

Here's a little anecdote. On Sunday, I woke up discovering what a fabulous day it was. Remembering I need to study for my Eco test, I thought to myself: What I wouldn't give to be outside. Just then, my mother phoned me and told me to help my father fixing our house in Missesaga. Apperantly the bathroom wall there have severe leakage, and has to be fixed. Ah, hardly what I consider to be "fun in the sun". Family business is family business, I headed down there, and bought 2 concrete drywalls and 1 big wall panel with him. We tore down half of the bathroom wall, stopping only when we hit sections without water damage. The leakage was unbelievable, the wall disintegrated with the smallest pull on it. Apperantly the previous owner tried to fix it, but instead of replacing the broken drywall, he stuffed newspaper in it! We were able to fix the wall within about four hours, the moral of the story? Beware what you wish for.

So I finally figured out how to make a dynamic site with PHP and MySQL. No, not coding everything by hand. I finally figured out how to do it with Dreamweaver. Coding everything by hand is too much work, plus my head hurts just looking at all the new commands and codes I gotta memorize. Yeah, cause you know, I'm not all that l337.

I wrote another new poem called "Forever Gone", I got many good replies from the poetry forums, even though at the time I was hoping they could tell me how I can improve it, but they only told me it was amazing, so if it is, give me your point of view Dav. It's on my site, and also in my poetry section.

Heehee, found him.

Poor Canker.... I mean poor Dav... now... where the hek is Adamn....?

Went to kungfu on Thursday, after about another 2 months absence. Saw Brazir after what, four months? Well, sparred a bit with him. He have gotten suprisingly good, the tension in his arms are all gone. Which makes him much tougher to deal with, now that I have a harder times to get around his defence. With him getting better, and me getting rusty, you can expect me getting hurt. Yup, that's exactly what happened. Well, he just hit my face once, but that made my teeth cut up my inner lips. With the canker I got from Judo, they sting like hell. Cankers are THE worst kind of injury ever. They are not nearly threatening enough to be classified as an actual "injury", but they occur really really often. I get cankers most of the times I sparr. Well, they form from the cuts my inner lips get when I get hit in the face. They sting like heck and prevents me from eating or speaking very much. They are just this annonyance that I have to live with for 2 weeks once every 3 weeks. Here's a typical conversation with some random Chinese person whenever this topic comes up: me: " Ha ha ha, that's funny~~~hahah....owwwwww" rcp: "What's wrong with you?" me: "I go this stupid canker..." rcp: "Oh, you must have a lot of heat, go eat more fruits." me: "yeah......." why do people think put citric acid and totally inflamming the canker is good for it? Don't they know how much it hurts when you do that? Don't they know once inflamed, these things get worse? Anyways, my lip hurts so much I can literally feel my body secreating anesthetic to comfort it. Hm...it's numb with pain....

Darkness of Hell Tears of blood dripping down the heart, Fire of hate dance in forms of art. Torn apart by thou emotionless rats, Hammered deeply under thou poisonous darts. Music of grief sorrow possess this innocent passion, Scornful portraits sealed that once colourful dimension. Shall the god of all power imprison the last moral grace, Where thorned roots eternally intruded this infant flesh. by : Dex

Writing from the computer in Gerstein's library Only less than 3 hours from my calculus mid-term.... I can hear my brain screaming away as I haplessly watch myself fall into doom. Ah..I hate integration so much...

Went to spectate the Ontario Judo Open tournament. Well, we arrived kind of late, so we were only able to see a few matches. It was still pretty good though. One of the blackbelts ( well, they are ALL blackbelts ) was really good, and always get Ippon within seconds into the match. I enjoyed the atmosphere of the event. It was held in a gym ( it was more like a big tent really ) behind a private highschool. I've always liked the discreetness of martial arts. The event didn't have many audiences, most/all were the competitor's familiy members or students. I heard that the event wasn't successful this year. Judo is fading in popularity, at least in Canada. Went for sushi afterwards, and joked around as usual. I find it difficult to have a conversation with the guys in Judo sometimes though. I mean, aside from Judo, what else can we talk about? I know that all of the guys there are very knowlegable about all kinds of stuff. They are most doing their masters or Phds or what not. Yeah, so we didn't talk all that much. Had some talk about Chinese and Vietnamese political and education system with Hein. Political discussions are too sensitive however and are best avoided in Canada imo. We probably needed more sake :D All in all, it was a fun day.

Lalala.. yeah, I better stop doodling, maybe not because I am really bored right now... what should I do? Hey Dav where are you? got anything movie that you can bring on Monday? ok, now what else can I say...? hmm...Dav do you mind if I just keep on Wondering like this on the blog? Yeah this is called wondering right? and I am just wondering around writing down what ever goes through that Watermelon brain of mine, or was it pea size? I've no idea how big my brain really is. Now I just forgot what I just forgot again. Now what was it that I forgot? hm...? well if I forgot it.. then how can I remember? But then if I forgot what I remember then how I can forget what I forgot? so did I forget what I forgot? or did I forgot what I forget? did I remember that I forgot what I forget to forget the forgotten? or did I remember what I forgot and forget what I remember? I think I just simply forgot what I forgot... No wonder its a Wondering Blog...

This Winter Day The weather is still freezing cold, icy road is slippery than ever from yesterday's melted snow. Wind blowing hard on the people in the street, and the distant afternoon sun ray down into the eye sight. Given a feeling of absurd life, where one sees warmth yet feel the coldness. Given the soul an emptiness, where the love is far away and life is all about loneliness. How one wish a body to hold, How one wish a love to love, How one wish a stove to heat, How one wish a home to stay. Comming back to reality, A dream is just a dream. Comming back to sense, A poem is just a poem. (c) by Dexter - 2003

Ah its good to see everyone posting, maybe I should post less from now on, or else everyone will be so lazy and let me do all the posting work. Not Fair. Anyways, I'll keep on writing poems, and composing music, and practicing my instrument, and program my site, and do my work, ops... speaking of work, I better get back to work :P

Hehe, see I'm posting in blog. Tag board is somehow not suitble for bigger posts. right? ;) well this post isn't gonna be too big. I just read a bunch of comics dave sent me...all my reactions were like: "eerrr....", "what the...", "-_-|||", or "hahahahahahaha" ....what i want to say is they are different. hehe, more like those I read from the newspapers, but not my Chinese/Japanese funny mangas. Canadian-like? the non-sense joking is funny somehow. But yeah, it's cool. I like it. And I'm glad I got most of them :)

This blog is evolving into something I didn't expect. I originally created it with the ol'generic purpose of "keeping a record of my life and emotions". Well, I'm not doing a good job of either. I did write about my more private feelings when I just started the blog. Ever since I started letting others post here though, I kinda stopped posting anything other than "Oh, this is cool" or "Oh, let me bitch about my martial arts". I've really started feeling uncomfortable posting anything with a bit more emotional depth in here. More people posting here gives the site a more social feel. Well, it's stupid because all the people that knows me ( and my website ) will see my blog regardless. I could always pretend no one will see the postings before, but now that fact is in the back of my head everytime I write something here. Well, it's still interesting to see what the blog turns into. Other than Dex, no one actually post anything too deep about their emotions. Well...I dunno about how much depth there is in Dex's postings, but that's cause I'm fucking lazy ( I've stopped swearing here too ) and don't want to find all the symbolisms or something like that. Oh, guess what, I should be doing my Calculus problem set that is due tomorrow, or later on today...whatever. Procrastination is great, but distractions are even better.

I know I know, this is my blog. I am posting arn't I. I'm seriously considering the possiblity of dropping Kendo now. Now that the natural of the art becomes apperant to me, I see that it really doesn't suit my personality. Kendo is, in one word, brutal. You rush at your opponent and attack endlessly with the intention of cutting them into ribbons and then splash their corpses all over the place by pushing their lifeless bodies out of your way, only to cut the next guy's head open, and the cycle continues. I don't mind the yelling and the simplicity of the techniques. What I can't stand is the totally Japanese mentality that comes with the practice. Budo is derived from the life of samurais. Which basically is a method of training soldiers. A good soldier ( or samurai, if you want to fancify it ) would need to eliminate an opponent as fast and effeciently as possible in the field of battle, to ensure the survival of himself. This means there need to be no regard for the well being of the opponent, dehumanize them if you will. Of course, people later find after the war is over, having the same mindset is very very bad for society. Cause what you basically get is this extremely anti-social and hieretical group of people who go around killing people. So they added elements of mutual cooperation and respect into it. This is much of the reason why all Japanese martial art, and the whole Japanese culture in general is so militarilistic. Since it's heavily influences and by Budo. Anyways, the point is that Kendo is way too aggresive for me. Charles just yell at me today " You're like a wildcard! Control! If you're do it again, I'm gonna really wack you! ". He wasn't joking when he said this, he was yelling with the serious Japanese attitude. I mean is the last threat really necessary? I get told by my kungfu Sifu all the time, but he never ever threatens me. Sure, he hits me pretty hard when I do a technique wrong, but only when showing the outcome of what will happen. Anyways, I simply don't like the general attitude in Kendo. The whole "attack attack and attack some more" idea just isn't my thing. I like to wait for the opponent to move first, then counter attack. Of course, I get yelled at when I do that in Kendo. Maybe I'm being a stubborn bastard who won't empty my cup before learning another art. Kendo just isn't for me I guess. On the other hand, I'm enjoying Judo tremendously. The people are nice and relaxed. Take Hein for example. He's really really good, but he never talks to the students with a dominate attitude. He's relaxed and funny but yet very serious in he's actions. Almost all of the other higher ranks in Judo are just like him. A good martial artist should be like this imo. That is how I strive to be when eaching beginners, and that is how my sifu is, and how all the more senior guys in kungfu are. Ok, that's my rant, this should cover for all the times I didn't post :P

hi, i got a photo album as well:P ..go check it out ~~ http://community.webshots.com/user/crystal8401 if anybody have intereting photos, send to me, and i will post them on~!!lol also, i got a open diary site, it's my diary open to everybody supposely, leave me a note there by all means to indicate u've been there la~~,it's : http://www.freeopendiary.com/entrylist.asp?authorcode=B215209 ya...have fun doing what ever u are doing, make urself comfy:) i'll see you guys later!

I can post too :) but there isn't anything really signicant happening recently. Ski trip was fun, having Crystal staying over was fun, eating out was fun, watching Spirited Away was fun ( and i absolutely loved it), and talking to dave for hours was fun. Everything is going well i guess, except some trivial unhappiness. I was confused, for the impact of selfishness and loyal friendship. I tried to figure things out, but I always ended up doing the same thing: give up and stop thinking hard. I gave up some friendship, i gave up the one i truly like, and I gave up being myself even more than ever. I spent every day in the same way, day by day, being totally unconscious how my life is insignifant. I don't care though, like what I have said, my goal of life is simply to be happy, make myself and others happy. sounds pathetic eh? Fran wants to find the origin and meaning of life, but I don't. I don't think that I want to "reproduce" by following the biological cycle, I just live, learning and gaining happiness from the daily experience. Enjoying the recent moment, I guess I'm having a pretty good life...no regrets, no chaos, just live.

No wonder you guys aren't posting, y'all are all out having fun, while I am the only one that had to stay home. Oh well... one more month to go.

Why the hek am I the only one posting? not fair...

Another day another problem, day after day they all adds up, Another month another luck, month after month luck changes, Oh what an unconstant world, what a wonder...

I don't know what to say... But why must my dad be so keen on me, now he would not even let me play my flute, would not let me practice nor compose music. Two years ago he would not let me study Chinese, and now I regret so much, that I, as a chinese born person is unable to write most of the chinese characters. Many years ago he would not let me study Gong Fu, would not let me read Commic books, would not let me invide friends home, etc... Why must he be so stricked on my interests, he is such a fascist. It is my life that I am to live, it is not his life, and I am already 19. Oh God, how I wish you could help me out.

God is real unless declared int.

Just created a photo album. It's cool and easy to use, hehe. Now I'm advertising it... http://community.webshots.com/user/freejiamao hehe, I've put many pics there...check them out~~;)

The best night ever, was with my best university buddies, on my Birthday. It was so great that I can't use words to discribe it... All I can say is thank you guys. I only regret not able to catch Sergio's call. Or else the night could be even more fun. One cool thing is Dina has her birthday one day after mine, and Her birthday is the same day as Crystal's birthday on ID cards. Since Crystal's birthday was delaid one month on her ID card, her real birthday was the exact same day and year as Joe. And all three of them are present last night. Of course I was there too :) Anyways, thanks again for making my first and only birthday party the most remoriable. And making me drink beer. :P

Bui's birthday was yesterday. Seven of us went to a buffay ( spell ) and then went and bowled. It was a lot of fun. Discovered that I'm pretty good at bowling. No girls were present though, that was a bummer. Still, hanging out with the guys is just as fun as the old days. Woke up today at 10:30am, went to Judo. Realized how much my Ippon Seoi Nage sucks when done at full speed. Then realize again how my Seoi Otoshi is completly unusable. More practice needed.

Very agree with Dex. I just walked all the way back from Robart...it took me around 30 mins, but I very enjoyed it. Go to Judo practise later today, dave, if you can see this post. I think I'm gonna be there.

Whoosh !!! Just got back from animation club, man its so late, such a lonely night, but at least I enjoyed the night by my self after the shows. The weather is very beautiful tonight, stars all shinny and bright, the air was so clean and fresh, and there aren't much noise neither. As I walked through the nice places in UofT and around the park near my house, singing my newly self composed songs, I feel my mind so refreshed, from all the trouble some thoughts and depressing feelings. Many times I wanted to call up a friend to join me, but I thought against it, because what I enjoy dosen't mean another will enjoy. Anyways, it was a meaningful night all to my self, while I laid on the bench in the silent little park.

Knowledge can be dangerous at times....

::: Self Reminder ::: "Fast as the wind; quiet as the forest; aggressive as fire; and immovable as a mountain." [Samurai Shingen Takeda's battle banner] during The Battle on the Uji River.

Good to know you are living a good life Crystal. :) You should post more often.

hi guys, another sunny day today! i just woke up, which is a little bit too late, 1:30pm. long time no see, how is david, dex and lovely jane^^ doing? i basically lived a playfull life these few days, nothing related to study what so ever. don't know if my dear friends are doing any study at all these days? i suddenly feel so guilty of my activities of these days, there is for sure fun and entertaining events happened , also there are things that i regret doing. such as wasting time on internet too much...:( i reckon that it's really easy for one to be lazy, but it's not easy for one to be active and efficient, it's just so easy to lay back. i guess that's the nature of human being.~ oh, well, there are good times, such as paintball, pink paint everywhere in the field, then my own helmet got shot, therefore pink paint coverd my eyes...what a spectacular pink world~! i feel kind of dizzy afterwards and " i'm out" followed. once u got shot, u have to leave the field..it's a brutal game indeed..hehe, but it's so addictive, i encourage everybody try it... the increasing of heart beat, the sense of danger, the excitement of "killing" an enemy, the hide and run in the dark...i definitely want to go again! it's time for cool down and study now, i've learnd and growed and experienced, so there is nothing to regret about, right?

ah....a bunch of drunk ppl are in my room now..they are loud, but you know what, drunk ppl are actually more approachable and nicer. I got an generous offer of a bottle of beer.....hehe.....they are so fun and adorable now :P anyway, they are loud still.....

Despite of all the sad moments, bad luck, and lonely times, I am happy from this moment and on, because I am finely able to grasp the true meaning of life... life is not to be a good guy or bad guy, life is not simple nor complicated life does not depend on what others think life does not flourish under doughts and cowardice life is : how one choose to live their life to the FULLEST... with enjoyments after understanding consequences, with a road that is not chosen by others but by one self, never stay in the past never regret nor fear. and on the side with the help of luck and friends. I am not just saying this because I ran out of peoms, But I really understood it this time. HAHAHA

Why can't Jane just say : "I missed Dex" instead of "I missed Dex's call" :P Anyways, I sure missed everyone, and missed all the activities. 555....

I'm still very excited about yesterday's experience. MY FIRST TIME SKIING!~!~ it was absolutely cool and fun, i'd say. I haven't been that happy for a long time. Stefan was there with me for more than half of the day; he taught me all the basic skills and saw all my ugly falls. it's him who took me to the first blue square skiing trail. I was about to cry when i saw the steeeep hill...but i kept telling myself: you can do it! then i did it. I learned super fast, hehe, by the time he left me to double black diamonds, i was able to ski alone and not fall badly. mm there were 2 lonely rides, but after that i found ppl from my rez and we had more fun time together. Stefan showed up by the end of the day and we skiied together 2 more times. Ahh i so miss the time we were lifted up together...tranquil hill, pure snow, and I leaned on his shoulder listening to the blowing wind... It's funny to watch ppl falling over and over again below us though...:P I still remember the tears coming out when i successfully made my first blue square without any falling. It was dangerously fun, you know, when you had no backup and had to go forward. it's cool experience too, i learned how to be strong both physically and spiritually. Skiing is a very good and healthy workout, I definitely love it, especially when I could control myself and enjoy the speed...My friends were great, thanks to them all... BTW, i missed Dex's call when I was up on Blue Mountain. Sorry i didn't call back (long distance..T.T) . I didn't know that song..sorry...try to go to some forum see if other ppl know it :)

It took me a whole night to draw a single page of manga. That's from 12:00am to um now. I gotta improve my speed I guess. Messing around with halftones in photoshop took too long. I really want to use those cool professional halftone pattern sheets, but I'm poor.

I seem to mature slower than most people. No, make that I DO mature slower than most people. I'm turning 20 this year, but I've never shaved yet. I never needed to anyways. There was always less hair on my face than a girl's forarm ( bad analogy?? I think so ). Well, I still don't have all that much facial hair even now. But today I woke up, and feeling that maybe I should start to shave now. I mean most guys start shaving at around 15 or 16. Should I? Should I not? I am afraid that by shaving, I'll look even younger as I already do, hm.....

I hate this stupid big temperature change. It is murderous, it didn�t kill me, but it killed my flute. Today after practice, as soon as I put it on the cold table, I heard the cracking, it was so sudden, and there goes my flute, I can see clearly the lines that goes right through my flute. Stupid weather, why my flute? 555...

I forgot about the milk I brought home yesterday. So it just sat on the floor inside the bag I brought it with for the whole night. I discovered it this morning, and immediately put it in the fridge. ( one thing I learnt from living alone --- any food is better than no food ). Well, tried it now, it's still perfectly good. This simply proves how frigid my room is, and I'm wearing t-shirts right now too.

You can use some of mine if you need, I don't mind. Plus we can also use places like http://www.fortunecity.com ... Anyways... have a great time everyone, I spend the lonely time with my self as always I guess. :)

I'm thinking about starting an online comic. I wanna do one that's in the format of Japanese manga. Like Megatokyo's if you will. The problem is how will I host it? UT's webspace doesn't even support CGI, let alone PHP. It simply means there's gonna be a lot of work organizing it I guess. I'm worried about the amount of webspace I have as well. Hm......

I am very happy for David. At least he had his first real Valentine ^.^ But this is the weirdest valentine I've ever had. One more hour left, and I still haven't said to anyone ""Happy Valentine", Haha, anyways. Night Everyone.

hmm, no comment on what Dav wrote.... Anyways, remember what I said earlier in one of the post? That I hate holidays, because its always the loneliest time for me, every holiday I see people with people, couples together, lover with each other, etc, everyone but me have to spend the holiday by my self at home, even my parents are out doing something of their own. 55555... maybe I should just get back to playing some music, only my flute can understand this sad sad man. Hopefully one day this will be changed, but until then...

Whoever invented Valentine's Day should be dragged onto the street and shot. If guys are required to give flowers, then girls should be required to give chocolate like they do in Japan. I understand that was just a marketing ploy by companies to sell more chocolate in the 1960/70s, but that would be more fun now wouldn't it.

Stupid riddle, I mean stupid me, I admit I am bad at making riddles. My intented answer was MSN chatting, but many people tells me it has to be "moon". But if it was moon, I would say : I am back during the night, I am away during the day, I am not too bright, but enough to read. I am not a circle, and you will never see my face. Anyways, how the heck did all those abnormal ideas get into my head in the first place...? Maybe I should change back to using my real name...!

Life is 2 short 90 99 055 98570 210 3810 314 9 45 50858 0814 085 05 2925 35 2965 95 985 6122990. it is too short but what can I do other than try to live my life to the fullist.

It's not an animal.

Here is a riddle for you people out there : (try to guess what it is.) ??? I am back during the night, I am away during the day, my words are my actions, and my emotion changes in circle, you will never be able to see my face, and you will never hear me cry. hint : it is not an animal. tell me the answer when you think you got it.

TI, The Precious Intelligence Silently she left me, reminds me how sudden she came... now I recall the first day when I met her, I was so frantic upon her dark shinny skin, I was so amazed by her infinite intelligence, wishing one day she would be mine. On an unexpected day came a surprise, it was so astonish as she offered herself, it was so fortunate that I brought her home. Ever since she was always by my side. I carried her to school, I carried her on trips, we went exploring the new world, we went to spread our existence. With each stroke, came a better understanding for us, with each day, came her sacrifice to enlighten mine, As time passes by, I learned from her priceless knowledge, I gained from her smartness and good grades, I remember how she always leave her kiss on my brand new pants, I remember how she always help many others understand the fun in learning. She was so wonderful, she was so selfness. Now I must say goodbye, For I am no longer the little boy, I thank her for all she did for me, I will forever and ever remember her, She, my programable calculator. By : Dexter � 2003 (The �KISS� is the white square mark I get on my pants for carrying the calculator around all the time, many people from my middle and high school knows why it was there, they used to often joke with me �I see you carrying your weapon again.�) ([][##][] Readers beware : this peom does NOT reflect how I feel about girls.) --- I am very uncomfortable with having to use a female to symbolise my calculator, but I guess I'll have to live with that. This poem is like the brother poem of my other work called "Highest Notation" which talked about my Bamboo Flute.

That's what I am trying to say,,, Dex : "Start posting Dav, don't leave all the work of posting to me." anyways, I already have two very private post of my own :P ----- Now, let's see if there's anything interesting? nothing much for the day, other than ran around doing work. Didn't practice music until 7:30pm. other than that are study and study, oh my god, I realize how little I studied before, now the good thing is I don't play games anymore, so I can really do some homework. I don't see how I was able to get pass everything before with out doing work. Doh ! - all because of my powerful calculator. I must write a poem about it. ^.^

This place is almost turning into Dex's blog. Well, since this is MY blog, I think I need to actually write something here. Um...yeah. A lot of things happened actually, but I feel no desire to write them down. This blog is a bit too public for them. Maybe I need to create another private blog exclusively for me? It'll be so secret that no one will know that it exists, mwhahahahaha~~ *reader: psst, you just told us -___-;;*

I can't belive I just made a stupid java class program that don't apply to anyone, nor any situation. Why the heck am I wasting my time...? - well at least its something to help David with his blog. (or else it'll be so empty)

/** * This program only apply to the girl that I loved and the girl that loved me. * (or in the future) :P * @authur Dexter Lei * * sample run : new MyFeeling("your name", 1 or 0); * 1: happy * 0: sad */ public class MyFeeling{ private String me = ""; private String others = " you "; public MyFeeling( String name, int feeling){ if(feeling == 1){ setHappyness(name); } else { setSadness(name); } } public void setHappiness( String name ){ me= "Dear " + name + ":\n When" + others + "smiled at me with that playful smile," + "\n" + "my heart suddenly filled with love and happiness." + "\n" + "and I became the richest man in the world," + "\n" + "wishing the moment could last forever."; } public void setSadness( String name ){ me= "Dear " + name + ":\n When" + others + "are away, I missed" + others + "dearly," + "\n" + "wondering is you are still doing well" + "\n" + "and my lonely heart drank dry the river of sorrow," + "\n" + "longing for your company."; } public String toString(){ return me; } }

Some ppl were surprised when they saw my short hair today. well, i have to admit, I finally, easily, gave up my long hair style which i have kept for at least four years. To make the story short, I'll say things happened on Sunday, when i was home in Hamilton. I asked my dad to shorten my hair since it was too long and got annoying somehow. But...he ended up cutting too much (there were some hilarious elements here which i WON'T talk about). So, to make myself look a little better (ie. not ugly) I decided to cut my hair again, which, gave me a brand new hair style. hm...what do i say? you have to look at me to give any comment. from my point of view, I think i look younger, muahaha, and a bit "qing(1st tone) chun(2nd tone)". anyway, i didn't want short hair, but i had no choice. Ppl say cutting hair means cutting the "love strings"; it's somehow true for me, but...let's just call it a coincidence. oh well.

I guess what they say about military intelligence is self paradox, not even the Patriot anti-air defence missile works, they claim �out of 42 missile attacks on Israel during the golf war, 41 defence patriot has successfully launched and intercept the target missile.� But the truth was later uncovered, those 41 successful intercept does not mean enemy missile destroyed, it means Patriot successfully exploded on the track on the enemy missile, but did not destroy the target. The reason was Patriots are too slow, comparing to the Iraq Scot missiles that never fly in a straight line, it can not be used to defend against the Iraqis. Even during later testing phase, there�s only 0% to 11% of chance that the defence missile actually did hit the �target�, and that target meant pieces of metal that came off the Scot missile. Which was the reason the computer system reported a success. Even the first success testing run that shocked the world was fake, in the night sky the first Patriot exploded on the right spot where the dummy missile would be, but... the truth was there aren�t any missile in the sky that night. Looks like there�s still more we can do to improve the air-defence system, that�s where comp-science comes in :) But I will not trust the newly designed Patriots to work perfectly, so if the war on Iraq starts, Americans better not count on the Patriot to work 90% like what they claim in the beginning.

Embrace the Elements Fire - Let the energy burn within me, while I am still young, allow me to stay active without fatigue, and strike the precise target with lightning power. Water - Let the passion flow through me, while I can still think clearly, allow me to explore my existence, and swiftly reach the deepest corner in the universe. Earth - Let the solid ground support me, while I am still standing firmly, allow my confidence never be shaken, and calmly accomplish my life long mission. Light - Let the gratefulness guide me, while I can still see the truth, allow me to fully understand my surrounding, and take every holy step toward the pass of justice. Dark - Let the shadow always stay behind me, while I am still on the move, allow me to see all evil in the world, and summon the dark mirror that inhales my anger yet reflects the beauty. By : Dexter Lei , 2003 -- WOW, I like this new poem of mine.

Shoot, This is such a boring day, its not busy but its boring. Got home at 4:00pm, from practicing flute, nothing to do: Can't play games, because it can no longer satisfy my need for excitment, can't play sports, for my injury would not allow, can't go chat, because no one is online and no one fun to talk to is online, can't program stuff, because I feel dumb right now, can't surf the net, because there's nothing new to be found, can't make websites, because I already made so many, can't think about girls, because they are not interesting anymore, (I am not GAY) can't talk to any other friends, because they are all busy or sleepy, can't read, because can't walk to the library to get books, can't study, because I already studied for hours. Now what? Now I even finished posting on the blog. Doh !!!

Every language that I can't immidiately identify sounds Japanese to me today. I think I'm going crazy. Went to buy a birthday cake for my brother, turned out buying Hero as well. Watched it, twice, loved every second of it. Awsome cinematography, great sword and spear fights. Amazing cast of over 10,000 actors. Puts Crouching Tiger to shame imo. Loved the sword play in ��կ�� (jiu zhai go), drooled at the thought of practicing kungfu there. Made me proud to be Sichuanese again. Calc assignment due today. Since I spent all my time watching the movie and this other Japanese comedy I bought, I didn't sleep and went to the library to work. Everything are done now, all is well.

The year 2002 has past, now I look back to see what I have accomplished, have became, and what god has done me... It was the year that taught me to no longer be a boy, through experiences like love and friendship, but most important of all would be my injury before Christmas, it has taught me to think before act (even though I am still trying to accomplish that), it also showed me there's much to life, and wasting time on games is the worst way of living this wonderful life, which made me realize how good my life was. I realize had many friends, few of which are my best buddies, and they are able to help me through rough times, give me happiness when there's down curve in my life, also since they are all older, they are able teach me ways of life, and importance of family. Of course I will in turn give them the help they needed. I realize I had good parents, I used to complain a lot about how little freedom there are living at home. True, it has is flaws, but on the overall if I move out, I will probably miss them so much, that I would wish I had spend more time with my parents, and those times are valuable. (I love you MaMa, BaBa) I realize I had a very talented body. I am able to do almost everything, but even though none the best, but at least I am able to apply myself to any situation, I am able to make child happy when they are bored, I am able fit in with anyone's personality, I am able to help with many problems in the world, I am capable to think into the deepest thought in the universe. On top of that I am even good with few of the things that I do. At last I realize girls should not be more than study at a time like this, but this is very hard to accomplish, so much struggle I need to go through in order to not think too much about them, and so much sacrifice of youth, and love. Ahhh. a new year, a new life, a new school, and some new friends, I must make every moment worthwhile..... (before I recover : more study, more poetry, more music, more websites, more reading, more programming, less games, and less chatting) (after I recover : even more study, more archery, more workout, more pingpong, more badminton, more swimming, and maybe less biking) meanwhile : Live a wonderful life with my friends and family. Also Good luck in the new year, to all of you reading this blog. --- and thanks to one of my best friend David for he's support for me when I am down.

Crap, I ... I ... 55555 whaaaaa COL ;(

Why? when the world was created, when I was born, there were many stars in the sky, there was a beautiful moon that night, ... (Little Dav in my head : get to the point ! ) ... Why? Why after my eyes were open? It was decided for me, who the people that I will meet? It was decided for me, the loney road that I will walk? From jumping up grades, To become a smarty, Then my mirror were shattered. ... (Little Dav in my head : get to the point !!! ) ... Why? Why after 18 years? First year in university, so many pretty and nice people, and yet so much work, why is it that everyone is older? why is it that they all see me as little brother? why does the age have to matter? why does it matter so much? does it matter? does it not? AND last, why can I not think about consiquance? (Dex : "Should I post this?") (Dex's Central Processing Unit [Brain] : why not, you are allowing others to get to know you) - is it not good? (Dex's MotherBoard [Heart] : Good Work CPU, plus it'll make you feel much better after posting it.) (Wise words from Dav : Think before you act.) (Dex's Evil Mind : "I can't think striaght anymore, the feeling is taking over.") then there comes a sad sad : Doh! ;(

Just had some messed up days. Life is always full of happiness and tears...I'm not a Christian, but I give these words, to those who have been hurt and depressed by love. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails... (Corinthians 13:4-8)

*���˵�С��* Ӧ��Ҫ�������� �ҵ�һ��ط������� ����Ҫ��ǿ��α �����һ������ �����ɬ����֪ ��ϣ���Լ����̫���� ���˵Ļ���̫�� ��Ҳ��������ʵ���� ��Ҫ��ȥ��һ�� ���ٵ���������׷�� ���=�࿪+ ���ܹ��ж�� �ζ����� ��Ҫ��ȥ��һ�� �µ����������� Ҳ����д��� �������ҵ�ѡ�� ���˵�С�� ��Ϊ�Լ��� ���˵�С�� Ц�������� ���˵�С�� �����ӻ� ����ģ��ı��=绹����* ���˵�С�� Ŭf��֯�� ���˵�С�� ���Լ����� ���˵�С�� ������ǰ�� ʧ��Ҳ��������

Electrified slowly I walked toward the road slowly more thoughts came to my mind each cell in my blood stream proceeded like the busy traffic every muscle can never again grip a hold the beautiful images formed quicker than a thunderstorm the happy days showered my existence clean of sadness there was no time for other thoughts there was no time for any plan every moment appears so precious like the morning dew on the tender lotus that could vanish at any moment under the sun like the dazzling snow flake in the palm that would melt right before the eyes every step forward became breathtaking like the moment before the final exam where all preparations were forgotten like getting closer to an angelic flower that is about to bloom right before the last moment it was being at the centre of a hurricane where everything became silent and empty but that was the same moment when my heart grew electrified. (By : Dex) Copyright (c) 2003 :P

oh, jee I am bored, I think I'll try to translate a song, I hope Dav don't mind :P lalala, lalala, I am the expert newspaper boy, under harsh weather I still sell news, while I sell, I always yell, today's news is very good, and it only cost a penny for two pieces of news. :P remember that song? wonderful times of childhood...too bad it didn't last long, ot it went by too fast. You agree?

Dear readers, please excuse me of my miss use of language : OK, This is another one of the f�cked up holiday, I hate holidays, they all sucks. starting from New Years holiday, then there comes my cursed Birthday. Damn, why don't I ever get a nice holiday. Stupid world, I am going to blow you up on day. Fuck man, before new years, there was the loney Christmas where many people kill themselves, mabey I'll end up dying on a christmas. This messed up world is full of phony people, they even called the holy christmas X-mas, why don't they just call it XXX-mas. I hate holidays, there's no one single holiday that don't envolve money. this world is full of dirt. why can't everything be like the old times, where life is just simple and nice. where people can get together and have a warm toast. dumb people, crappy education, ... Fuck man, no one is talking, yet there's a little girl that keeps one bugging me on MSN. where the hell did everyone else die off to? At this moment I totally agree with Bush to attack iraq, and best of all why not have a WW3. hm... maybe he can help me distroy the world *evil laugh* Shit, that better not be my other side. Anyway, moronic holidays.

At this point of this century, there must exit poor and rich in our economy... But I believe, through much higher education to every person in the world, then the difference between rich and poor will slowly disappear. Which means education should be available to all human kind, and we must be able to learn with less distraction, and earlier education starting point should be one factor that contributes to better learning, providing a way to lower the lust for over entertainment, and a way to satisfy the need for rest. At the same time we must sacrifice our human nature of laziness and childhood "happy days.� This theory can be true, but it is in some ways against our humanity, therefore if we humans believe fun is more important, then this difference between poor and rich will never vanish. If it ever does come true, then there will be less requirement for labour work, for every single machine or clone, it will produce thousands more, and ultimately it will be in the form of exponential growth to both the nonhuman working force and higher tech discoveries, which at the same time, with the highly educated minds, we will be able to find solutions to the expansion of liveable area, and solutions to green house effect, solutions to global warming, and much more. -- final words : You know I am crazy, so DO NOT comment on what I wrote above.

I hate those fucking good advise forwards that tell you that it will screw up ur life if you don't send them to other people If they are supposed to help you IMPROVE your life, then whyTF do they have such stupid side effect? Not to mention the very idea of 1s and 0s on a computer can have any effect on one's life is utterly ridiculous

I forgot my keys in my room last night. What does that mean? Well it means I can't get back into the house. Which means I had to spend the night at my parent's. I still can't get back in today, and the landlord's number is in my room! In other news, Liwenjun came over yesterday to check out the place I live. We talked about that for many many months now, finally we acted on some obscure and random topic that we discussed. Now it's my turn to check out where she lives. Well, I don't expect that to happen for months to come.

A KISS I climbed the door and opened the stairs Said my pajamas and put on my prayers Turned on my bed and crawled into the light All because you kissed me goodnight Next morning I woke and crambled the shoes Polished the eggs and toasted the news I couldn't tell my left from my right All because you kissed my good night The evening I felt normal again So I picked up my mother and called the phone Spoke to my puppy and threw dad a bone Even at midnight the sun was still bright All because you kissed my good night --- This poem wrote by a friend, how lucky she is !!!

The lease of my rent expires after next month. Which means I have to decide to either sign another lease and continue living here for the next six months, or go else where. I decided I should move back to living with my um, parents. Why does that sound so pathetic when I say it out loud? Anyways, I don't think I have enough money for another six months, then pay for tuition next term. Nor do I want to live here in the summer. This place will be blistering hot then. The fact that I'm currently living with in a block from where my parents live is pathetic enough and make me feel like a dumbass paying 400 bucks a month for it. I've had my fun moving out I guess. I would still love to live somewhere else, but my current financial situation doesn't permit me to do so. The next time I move out, my wings would harden to the point where I can soar without returning to the nest, I'm sure.

Had my Economics test on Friday. It went fairly well. Friday was Crystal's birthday as well. She turned 19. Naturally, I attended her birthday party. Had fun, ate cake. We played pool and table tennis in the activity room of her res. A whole bunch of us showed up, all familiar faces. Went home at 4:00am, slept till 5:30pm today. Missed both Kendo and kungfu practice today...

CUA finally posted our photos from the Chrismas dinner What's interesting is that they don't look nearly as intimadating when sized down from their original >1280x1024 size. The girls look nicer too. some highlights of me: Check out the rest of the photos

see... I am posting. why you evil evil little man... :P

Hahaha... Was she the one who went with us on the train? Message...eh? I had one when I was around 10 from a relative.

Went for Kendo practice yesterday Screamed my head off and got beat up, great fun as usual. Woke up today, whole body hurts. About a week ago my cousin gave me a massage when I was in a similar predictment after Judo. It was magical as the pain stopped immidiately after. Well she did study message for over five years in ChengDu TiYuan's Sports hospital. Ah...I can really use that message right now. If only I can find a girlfriend with such skill, haha.

It seems that my evil plan of letting others write in this blog so it can update itself endlessly is failing. Everyone are just as lazy as me. *sign* So my foot is getting better, again. I'm avoiding stressing it too much in Judo. Which means I execute all my standing techniques with minimal force. Which is good I suppose, as it forces me to imporve my technique rather than covering up the flaws with strength. I gotta work on my kazushi a whole lotta more, that's what I realized. I find it harder and harder to throw out random combos while shadow-punching. I have no idea why, since all my combos come out when I actually spar with someone. I gotta start seriously practice my kungfu again, I feel like I'm getting worse. Oh yeah, had the Calculus test on wednsday, made the ususal stupid mistakes. It went rather smoothly I guess. I didn't study nearly as much as I did with the last one. ( Then again, I got a lot more sleep this time around ). Have Economics test next week, that's...fun. I can't go to my old Eco lecture anymore, since my new Compsci lecture takes place at exactly the same time. I'm going to other Eco lectures currently. Who cares about the prof being different, it's not like I can understand what Siddique's talking about anyways.

Haven't been here for a while... I haven't been anywhere for a while... I missed my old life, and now I learned how to treasure life, I guess it takes a huge impact for me to realise I am not immortal like the way I used to think. Anything can happen at anytime to anyone, I could go paralise even at this moment that I am speaking because of my accident. jee, I should always tell the ones that I love while I can. and at the same time treasure friendship as well... Thanks David for been there for me when I needed. We are always good buddies :)

Eck, my two sites are giving me so much work these days. I just recently discovered that my CSS styles was absolutely crap. They are totally scrambled up in Opera and Mozilla. Lines and texts were overlapping each other like a pancakes. Took me a long time to recode them, but now they look good on all three browsers. Well, there are some little bugs that need to be work out, but I don't feel like messing with them now. I got 2 exams coming up, and all I can do is stay up at 5:00am and rewrite style sheet? Calculus can be....just as...fun...I hope..... Oh yeah, I twisted my foot again in Judo. That wasn't pleasant, it actually hurt a lot worse than the first two times. It's alright now I suppose. And yes, I still love Judo to death. I mean I can literally feel myself getting stronger after a practice. It really pushed my endurance to a new height. Just as I thought I could move no more after ne waza randori, I then discovered energy out of the blue and started doing standing randori full strength. Sure I couldn't control myself well and twisted my foot again, but that's besides the point. Missed kungfu and kendo practice again though, because of this foot. *sign*

I bought the shoes about one and half years ago, in China. I bought them with my friends, at almost 12:00am at night. I remembered that my grandma told me to buy a new pair of shoes. I saw nothing wrong with the pair I was wearing of course, but she thought they were well beyond their intended age. We ran almost four blocks in search of a store that wasn't closed. Finally we found it, and I bought the first pair that attracted my eyes. The shoes are dark blue in color, with light blue strips and white shoe laces. It's a pair of running shoes, but without the flamboyancy of the more plastic-savvy counter-parts. It looks more like casual shoes, with the same simplicity and elegance. The snow on the sidewalks is quite a lot these past few days. That's not doing my shoes any good at all. I wore them everywhere --- kungfu practices, jogging, mindless walking... I'm amazed that after so long, these shoes have almost no major wear and tear on them. However, one thing it can't do anymore is waterproofing. For days, I walked through the snow and slush in soggy and wet feet, never a moment of warmth. Hence I decided to finally retire the shoes from their position of being my primary, and my only shoes. I went and bought a new pair. The new pair is nice, the shoes are offically casual shoes. Although they look awfully like the old pair. Except it's black, with even darker strips. I think I found my shoe store as well. Sketch have such nice shoes, exactly the type I would design had I been the designer. Still, I will wear the old shoes to practicies and other dry and physically demanding events. I've been through a lot with them, and I always hesitate to dispose of anything I own that's been with me for a long time. Strange little man I am...

Macross Zero is so cool! Macross Zero is so awsomely cool! Macross Zero is so out-of-the-world-shiny-spiraly-cracks-open-your-skully cool! It's so FU*K*NG COOL! HOLY SHIMOLY IT'S COOL! HOOOLLLLLYYYYY!!!! AHHHHHHHHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA